Bugs, Flu and other germs

It all started on Monday, Soulmate woke up and went for a bike ride. We have both been making attempts at a more fit and active lifestyle and this is his part. (Does much better then me, I might add!) Anyway, he returned and said he wasn't feeling too well. Soulmate felt nauseous and had heartburn. Being the caring, loving nurse I am, I told him to suck it up and get over it!

Anyway, off to work he went, the trooper he is or off he went to escape for the kids and me since there is no camp this week, hmmm, you make the call.

I received a call from Soulmate, once he got to work, who then proceeded to describe the violent, explosive diarrhea he had just experienced. The description included color, sounds and even texture. Sometimes it stinks (no pun intended) to be nurse!

By 4.00pm, soulmate was on his way home, an early retreat from work, due to his current bowel issues. I personally think the office got rid of him because it was one the girls turns to clean the bathrooms! By this time, I was feeling achy and experiencing stomach cramps.

I took myself off to bed where soulmate came and joined me within a few minutes. The kids proceed to take care of us, which they thought was hysterical, by bringing us drinks, flowers (picked from my garden), books, magazines and anything else we might need.

We made it thru the night and got the kids to bed. Fell asleep around 10.00pm only to be woken up by baby crying in the bathroom with stomach ache and yes, the same issues as Soulmate.Then we were off........

Baby continued to vomit and sh*t every 30 minutes until 9.30am. This poor kid did not stand a chance. He did not know whether to sit down or stand in the bathroom. Well, I don't want to get to graphic (actually I do but I guess I shall spare you) at one point he was naked bent over praying to the porcelain God, retching, when a brown soup came shooting out of his lower half with the force of any rocket NASA would be proud to name theirs, hitting the lime (I didn't paint them) green wall of our bathroom! It sprayed out in a very artistic fan patter in a semi circle across the wall dripping down to the molding and floor.

Now, need I remind you that I was not feeling too hot myself, so on my hand and knees, with help from soulmate, I was spraying bleach and scrubbing at gravy stains to the dulcet tones of baby vomiting, Soulmate tooting and my own retching!...

Thank God it only lasted 12 hours and Firstborn did not get sick. See even germs are scared of her!

Curly Q

Firstborn has been pestering me for a perm. She does not want the old type perm that I used to get that smelled like rotten eggs but a spiral perm. Now once upon a time I was the Queen of spiral perms but I was close to 14 years old. Firstborn is only 11. She has great hair and I just do not want her to ruin it. We have spent time with the curling iron, hot brush and rollers but it was never quite the same.

Within the dark dusty cobwebbed recess of my mind, I remember rag curling. My nana used to do this to my mums hair back in the dark ages. So thanks to Google and you tube I was able to find instructions on rag curling.

I diligently cut strips of rags and curled pieces of hair around the rag and Voila! Sent Firstborn to bed with the head of Medusa.

Next day unrolled the rags and this is the result.........

What do you think?......

A Lindsey Lohan in the family...

Took our dog Q-Tip to the vets for some shots and check up because of the recent seizure diagnosis. My fluffy friend does not usually worry about the vet, but for some reason this time he seemed a little amped up. Kinda like Soulmate in Tortola before the naked fishing exhibition (See Tortola blog post).

We arrive at the vets and we are waiting for about 20 minutes as they had an emergency visit prior to our arrival. We then get called back into a room and answer the usual questions from the vet tech. This tech proceeds to take Q out into the back to receive his injections and to have blood drawn. I am sitting in this room minding my own business and wondering how many animals have peed on the chair I am sitting on, when chaos ensues.

I hear a yelp, a cry and then a very loud "NO!". Holy Sh*T! I know it's mine. it has to be.... have you read my blog? Next a Tech comes in and tells me everything is OK and the vet will be in shortly.

The vet arrives to tell me that the tech performed all the vaccinations with no issues and Q-Tip was quiet and behaving very well, so without the usual assistance the tech goes to draw blood from my Q and he turns around and bites her. The vet states that there was no aggression or growling but the Tech probably startled him. This vet was extremely apologetic as she thinks it was more the techs fault and not Q's but still in future they will put one of those delightful Elizabethan collars on him just to be safe (You know those collars, the ones that prevent the animal from licking anything that might be the slight bit of fun)

OK, then this is not so bad right?, Q-Tip reacted normally to a needle being stuck in his leg, no big deal. It's all over and no need to worry. (Having dealt with an extremely aggressive pet in the past this sort of stuff gets me so worked up)

The next day I receive a phone call. "Hi this is Officer Rodriguez" My mind is now racing faster then a turkey on thanksgiving, what did I do recently?, (too much to count) What did Soulmate do?(Tortola) hell, what did my Family do!!!

"May I speak with the owner of Q-Tip"

First thought deny any such animal exists but " this is her" involuntarily came out of my mouth.

Officer Rodriguez (animal control officer) states that a dog bite was reported and that it is their policy to quarantine any animal that has bitten another for 10 days. Since Q is current on vaccinations he is able to be on quarantine at home but the officer needs to check out the property.

So Animal cop shows up at my house, divulges that a physician called in the bite not the vet, I explained what had happened and he agreed that if someone approached him with a needle he might bite them too! Following the house inspection, Kujo was approved for house arrest

So for 10 days he has to wear an ankle monitoring bracelet, that monitors his aggression level and alcohol intake... nah, just kidding, he has to be kept in the house and back yard with no contact with anyone outside the family for 10 days. A little inconvenient but what can you do?

Shame tho, I was just lining up a photo shoot for the AKC annual magazine, with Q laying on the couch, with his seductive skinny leg draping over the side, with his monitoring bracelet on full show!

What's wrong with people?

For the summer, we decided to let the kids have a little pool party. A nice way to reconnect with school friends and relax. Nothing fancy just the all American BBQ and a swim.

The kids were asked to pick a few friends each. Baby's list was done in 3 minutes, Firstborn took 3 days with drama and texts flying all around Dallas, possible causing Tropical Storm Alex, but we finally got the list together.

Baby takes one invite into camp for a boy he knows from school. Baby hands this snotty little devils spawn the invite and told him "I am having a pool party". The 2 horned wonder opens the invite, with not one thank you of course, and throws it down on the table.

Baby asks the all red one if he can see the invite to which this kid roars (with green pea soup spewing from his mouth) "Take it. I don't like you, don't want to be your friend or come to your stupid party!" WTF!! What sort of parenting is a child getting when he just hurts another child's feeling so bad without a single afterthought?

Obviously my first concern was for baby. I asked him how he felt and explained that if this boy could treat him like this he was not a friend or someone he should want to spend time with (tho I am yearning to get him in a dark alley. Is that wrong?) Baby replies " oh, that's OK mum, I gave his invite to a much nicer kid" Thank God for the resilience of children.

Meanwhile, mum, is still struggling with the question Why is it not legal to interrogate a child and stone his parents if you suspect he is Beelzebub and they are his creators?

I am very lucky....

Once in a while I like to give props to the man in my life. Soulmate is the best husband and friend a woman could ever want. He is kind, generous, humorous, loving, a great father and man. It would be nice if he put the toilet seat down once in a while or changed the toilet roll but hell we can't be greedy!

We had a really great July 4th weekend, we went to the Zoo, did the whole fair and fireworks thing and even had a day on July 5th without kids for a relaxing, exploring adventure. (Maybe camp isn't so bad).

This man comes home from work on Tuesday, after dinner, kids are in bed and we finally sigh relief to have time to ourselves and crack open a beer or three. Soulmate goes on to tell me what a great weekend he had and presents me with a jewelry bag. Inside is a beautiful ring of Amethyst, Topaz and other gems with a matching necklace. What a man! I love this guy!

I post these entries not only to thank him, but to share that there are these wonderful human beings out there and if you do not have one go get you some because you deserve it and are worth it. (I know I am)

Is it genetics?

My kids are the most uncoordinated creatures I have met. There, done, it's out there! Firstborn could not ride a two wheeler until she was 9! when she was toddler, the only way she could ride a tricycle was backwards. Huh?

Baby is just the same. He still has training wheels at age 7 and he is not a small petite child, he is tall and skinny and looks like a 20 year old riding a miniature cycle in a circus!

So in my infinite wisdom, or just desperation, this summer I signed the kids up for camp. They go alternative weeks to give me a break and allow me to actually get some work done for the dollars I am being paid. Camp is held at a gymnastic facility, they are horseback riding, swimming, performing gymnastics, using the zip-tie, scaling the rock wall, have archery and Tae-kwon-do lessons! wow right? What was I thinking?????

They have had two full weeks of this wonderful adventure and I have had three visits to the local pharmacy for supplies, two phone calls to the pediatrician, 1 day of missed camp and a helluva lots of stress! We have sustained a sprained ankle, strained tendon, bruised hand, black eye, bruised knee and we topped it of with one case of a stomach virus with vomiting and diarrhea that Mount Vesuvius would be proud off!

Next summer, art and music camp may be on the agenda but I would have the only kids that fall of the piano stool, sustain burns from the bow of the violin and get an allergic reaction to paint!....sigh....

More Tortola Stories.....

So?, you may ask, How was Tortola? How do I describe it?. The Island is hilly, the weather perfect, the Villa huge and the company, most of the time, got along with each other great.

Now a little unknown fact about Soulmate is that he is a man of excess. If he diets, it's water and bread only, if he gambles it's a second mortgage on the house, if he runs it's a 10k!

So first day in Tortola, picture us lying by the pool, drinking rum punch (or jungle juice) listening to some great music and having an all together fantastic time.

Late afternoon I retire for a short alcohol induced nap (just a short 3 hours). Get woken up, it's dark and it's time to eat. Hmmm I think I am gonna love this trip!

Meanwhile the rest of the party hounds have been drinking solidly thru my 3 hour nap, with no food and are completely hammered.

I sit down in the outdoor dinning area and Soulmate then proceeds to slur and drool while whispering sweet nothings, I think, in my ear (could have been a grocery list for all I could understand), starts jamming the tunes and getting down to the beat. He is smiling his adorable sexy smile and I should have known........

Next thing I know my Soulmate is dancing naked by the pool, then jumps in the pool, swims a naked lap, proceeds to jump out onto his belly, like a large mouthed bass, and slithers across the tile to the game room!

That's my soulmate! That's My husband! I am a very lucky woman, married 16 years to this fine specimen!.....and I wouldn't change a thing!

My recent vacation

Soulmate and I had an absolute awesome opportunity, Due to his hard work (cough..cough) and such high sales, the company offered a Company Annual Share Holders Meeting. It involved an all expenses paid trip to.......Cincinatti?.....No....Detroit?......No......Houston?...No. It was held in Tortolo, The British Virgin Islands! Wow, where do I sign up, here is my bag and can we stay two weeks?

It was an adults only trip (even better). So the task began, to decide what to do with the rugrats. Is Alcatraz still accepting house guests? The best solution seemed to be good 'ole father-in-law or Bebop as we call him. He was planning a trip anyway and now we would pay for it for him. Well, the foolish man agrees and arrived on our doorstep two days before the trip. Sister- in-Law also agreed she would help and came as well.



We went over the kids (and the dogs) schedule, I even had a binder full of instructions that would make a concierge of the finest hotel proud! We went over the security alarm system, we drove the route to the schools. It was only 5 nights and 4 whole days they would be fine right?.....

The morning we were due to leave we asked Bebop and sister-in-law to do a dry run to baby's school. It would reassure us that all would be OK while we were gone.

With bated breath we watched as Bebop reversed out of the driveway, proceed to drive over the neighbours front lawn, slammed my car down hard over the curb and finally left driving in the wrong direction away from school with sister-in-law laughing hysterically!

Hell!... Soulmate and I looked at each other, they will be OK right?, He won't kill them right? and if he does will this trip be worth it?

What do think?.....

Oil Spill and BP

I am not one that makes political statements in my blog or rant about the Obama administration (well, not in my blog anyway) but this BP oil leak is a beyond a joke.

I have written to our governmental administrators, BP and even the president. I kept it plain and simple with just a one question.....WTF?

I'm back......

OK, duly nagged for not updating my blog (you know who you are!) I have decided to get you caught up on events.The kids are out for summer (yeah???), Soulmate and I had a nice vacation away sans kids, I celebrated my birthday and anniversary, Good friends from NY have paid us a visit and my life continues to supply me with endless material to write in my blog.

First, as I have previously documented, Firstborn has always been a challenge. She is growing up, spreading her wings. testing her boundaries and all those other crap cliche's that apply to a mouthy 11 year old! Well, I am here to report she is doing sooooooooo much better.

She has calmed down, been more respectful and had actually been studying! What is the change you may ask?.. did I hit her in the head with a frying pan? (thought about it)... Did she smack her head diving in the bottom of the pool??? (possibly)...nope she has a boyfriend!

Gulp!....my 11 year old has boyfriend. now anyone who has known me from my childhood will tell you she takes after her mum, but I was NOT 11 when I became boy crazy, I was a very mature 13 year old so leave me alone.

We have over 800 text exchanges a day between these two, very cute and innocent, like ,what's your favorite color, what music you like, etc, thankfully none of the questions she likes to pose to me such as the ones about premarital sex and protection are noted! One of the rules we have with Firstborn having her own cell phone is that there is no privacy. I am allowed to listen to voicemail and read texts at anytime. I delete them after I have read them, she is not to delete anything. This appears to have worked so far, tho I am sure when I was on Vaca and her Grandfather was watching her, every forbidden word, photo and message flew across the lines exploding AT&T and causing down wires (She was allowed to delete her own messages while I was away otherwise her phone memory would be used up before I got on the plane!)

Anyway, we decided to meet this little cowboy who has my daughters, heart, to ensure that he fully understood the wrath of a 6ft 4 in Yank and a 5ft 2in, but very spunky, Brit. We invited him over for 2 hours for a BBQ and a swim.

When he arrived I met his mother, who proceeded to embarrass the kid, to the point of making him blush, by saying" don't be scared, he gets a little afraid of the deep end in a pool". My first impression was I love this woman!

So B friend arrives and the interrogation begins, What's your dad do? (He's a Marine) How long have you lived in Texas?(one year) Where do you live? (Nice neighbourhood) What's your mum do?(Waitress, divorced) Who takes care of you over the summer?(14 year old sister) and so on and so forth. He proceeded to answer every question shyly but confidently with lots of Sirs and Mam's thrown in. As your dad is a Marine you must have travelled a lot? (yes), What's your favorite country you have lived in?(England, I want to go back). ...what?...excuse me?..... Did you say England?(Yes, I loved it there)....... Well, now let me think, this kid is respectful, has calmed Firstborn down, helped her with her studies and loves England?...Hmmmm.......

I love this kid! I gave him the keys to the house and the code to the security alarm, he can come by anytime!

Part 4

Now, baby can get a little obsessed about things. Once he likes something he talks about it non-stop and I mean non-stop. When he was a toddler it is was Thomas the Tank engine, then we went thru Lego's, then Bakugans well right now we are back to Pokemon.

Day in and Day out baby waffles on about strategy, power points, energy and evolving of Pokemon. I also know that there are 4 energy types! He even talks in his sleep for God's sake!

Now, I am really trying hard to listen but I do sometimes Grunt a really? or a Ohhh? with not really paying attention.

Baby: So you understand right Mum?

Me: Gulp!. I have no idea what he was talking about. Sure Honey.

Baby: If that's true what did I just say?

Me. Crap! busted! Well....it's.. mumbling energy....uhm muttering Power...

Baby: I knew it! I just used reverse Psychology in you and it worked!

Me: Where did this little troll spawn come from? Reverse Psychology? I will show you reverse Psychology you little SH**!

Go wash up from dinner please!

Part 3

Let me set the scene, a nice balmy 80 degree day, sitting by the pool with the kids, waiting for Soulmate to get home from work. Baby is playing in the dirt with some bug or other and Firstborn is sitting with me.

Firstborn: Mum, can I ask you something?

Me: (right about now, I am well aware that I probably do not want to hear this and was wishing I was on a cruise ship with a Mai-Tai in hand and a barren womb)

Sure, what is it sweetie!

Firstborn: Did you ever have premarital sex?

Me: (WTF!!!!!!) Do you even know what that is?

(God, it's hot out here, does 80 degrees really feel like this?)

Firstborn: Course I do, it's when you have sex before you are married

Me. (Now I am not sure if should be proud that she actually knows what this is or wonder how the hell does she know this? I am also hearing all those voices in my head of every damn parenting article that I have ever read. Never lie to your kids, tell them the truth when they ask, it means that they are ready to hear it. Yeah? well I don't remember this specific topic!)

Well, I don't know if you know this but dad and I got married twice. The first time was a causal affair to allow me to get a visa for the US and no one really knows about this but the second time was the big official wedding.

Firstborn: Yeah, I knew that!

Me: Well, most people thought dad and I were living together and having premarital sex but we were really married! (I am a freaking genius!)

Firstborn: Oh.

(So now I am patting myself on my back, what a great story, how smart of me, have another imaginary Mai-Tai)

Firstborn: Would you be mad if I had premarital sex?

Me: (wiping Mai-Tai of my chin and swimsuit)

Hell, yeah!!!........ Look I would hope you would talk to me first and would like to make sure that this is the man you are planning to be with the rest of your life. (Nose is growing here).

You are not thinking about it now are you? (Do I really want to know the answer?)

Firstborn: Oh my gosh no! that's disgusting!!!!!

Thank the lord! Pass me the pitcher and as I am drinking I am rehearsing my response to the future question, did you ever do drugs? Yes, but I didn't inhale seems like a good answer!

Part 2

Baby: Can dark people and white people have children?

Soulemate: Sure, just like any MARRIED couple (just in case Firstborn is within listening distance)

Baby: What color are their children?

Soulmate: Well, it varies they can be dark, light and any other color that you can mix with dark and light (I think at this point he is sweating!)

Baby: What if the baby was born and half of his body was white and the other half of his body was dark?

Soulmate: That's not possible

Baby: Why?

Soulmate: Because your bodies don't work that way (Huh?)

Baby: OK. (silence while you can hear the little cogs turning in his head, like a hamster on steroids)

Baby: I don't think that dark people are really dark, they are just dirty! If they had a good bath I think we would all be the same!

Soulmate: Silence.............

The crazy things kids say...especially mine Part 1.

OK, this is the thing, at least three time a week, my kids astound me with the things that come out of their mouths especially baby. So I am dedicating my next few entries to these nutso random things starting with this one:

Baby: Can we play charades?

Me: Sure, you go first

Baby: Starts air kissing and make kissy sounds.

Me: Baby with his girlfriend?

Baby: No!

Me: Mum and Dad?

Baby; No!

Me: People in love? (huh?!)

Baby: No! Imagine I am in my underwear.

Me: A boy swimming with his girlfriend?

Baby: No! Mummmm, give up?

Me: (Thank God!) Yes, I give up

Baby: S.E.X (he whispers spelling it out). Because that's what S.E.X is, kissing in your
underwear or with no clothes on!

Me: Speechless for once in my life!

(A few hours later soulmate arrives and I hear baby happily ask, Daaaaaddd, do you wanna play charades!)

Siblings

We recently attended an open house at baby's school. He was so excited to show us his art work, his math and his writing book. Next was his journal. The kids write in their journal periodically and what a revelation this was.

Baby had a bad day as his sister hates him and was mean to him, baby had a good day because his sister shared with him, baby has a poor day because his sister would not talk to him, his sister hates his squeaky voice. A common theme here?

I made Firstborn read everyone of these entries to see if that would hit home. Her response?...I don't hate you baby, You just are really annoying!

Soccer or football as we call it

Baby has been wanting to start soccer. I have hummed and hawed over this as my kids are not the most coordinated of the bunch. For example, baby, the hunking great 7 year old still needs training wheels on his bike.

Anyways I finally agreed and found a team which is attached to a church. Here in Texas they take their sports very seriously and I did not want to expose baby to that at this age. Also remember that famous tale of the mother murdering a cheerleader. I did not want that to be me.

Baby had his soccer evaluation and I warned soulmate not to be too disappointed if my son, who has as much stability as a duck on ice, did not do so well. Well, lo and behold I have quite a decent soccer player on My hands. he dribbled, he passed and he scored. yeah! you go baby and we all know who deserves the credit for this. Me of course! it's the British blood!!!

Daddy's and their daughters

I recently watched a show called "Parenthood". Do you watch this? Anyway if you don't it is a drama surrounded around a family of siblings and their life adventures. A recent episode was about a 15 year old girl who was rebelling, dating without her parents knowledge and on the brink of her sexual awaking. It made me think of myself at that age and what I went through. (but hell, that's a whole new blog!). It did make me think of Firstborn. At age 11 and in today's society she is on the brink on many things.

She recently had a Daddy Daughter dance at school and watching those two leave for the dance all dressed up did make me feel poignant, just a little.

My other thought was Holy Crap! she will be out of the house soon!!! Whoo Hoo!!

Old friends

I have just got back from a trip back to WNY for work. It was exhausting and so good to catch up with Friends and family. One particular group of friends I had not seen for 15 or so years. We met when we were nannies in Canada. OMG! the stories I could write about my nanny adventures. I was so pissed when the nanny diaries came out because that was my idea and I just hadn't written it down yet!

Anyway, my point of this post is that when you meet like that again after so many years you realise how important your friends are. They laugh with you, they cry with you, usually over men but most of all is is so nice just to have that bond. ...and not only did these group of friends do all these things for me, but they laughed when I was drunk puking in the toilet, they had all out wrestling matches with me in hotel rooms, again drunk, they shared beds with me, drunk and gave their unbiased drunk opinion of the men I was with (Hmmm, common theme here?) Anyway hold on to your friends and to all women everywhere, Cheers!

The things kids say, part 1.....

OK, today baby comes home from school looking down in the mouth which usually means one thing...he got in trouble at school. First of all let me say, it is never baby's fault, always his friends (if all he tells me is true I use the term loosely!) So this how it goes.......

Me.. what's wrong?

baby... I got a U (meaning unsatisfactory behaviour at school and a note sent home)

me.. Why?

baby... I repeated something Jacob said because Bryce wouldn't be my friend if I didn't and then Jacob told the teacher ( Ms. Longley)what I said.

Me..What did you say?

Baby... Ms. Longley has a jiggly butt!

Now first instinct was a giggle but as someone who is constantly fighting the weight battle I advised my darling son how hurtful these things can be. I also made baby write a letter of apology to Ms. Longley. ....One other thing, you can guarantee I will be checking out you know who's butt next time I see her!

Society and manners

What the hell has happened to manners and etiquette? Please, thank you, may I?, can I?, RSVP - Responez s'il vous Plait, a french phrase meaning please answer...Hellooooooooooooo!!!!

Is a football hooligan a national treasure?

Baby's school hosted a multi-cultural parade. As you and I are aware today's society consists of many races and colors. No, this is not a lecture on acceptance and we are all the same on the inside, it is not a debate about equality it is a blog entry about a little boy "representin".

I am, as we all know, British, I am also an US citizen and proud of it! I spent the first 21 years of my life in the UK, came to Canada as a Nanny and then transplanted my self in the US and have now been here 20 years! Soulmate was born and raised in the USA although his mother was born and raised in Yugoslavia and his fathers parents were Scottish, my kids are the descendants of a true Brit!

So what to wear for this parade, baby could be a Beefeater (look it up), but after he saw the photo of one was not "gonna dress like a girl!", he could be the Queens guard but where in the hell was I going to get a bayonet from?! I know..... we will dress him head to toe in England wear representing out national pastime (nooooooo, not cricket) football or soccer as it is known here in the US.

England's soccer Fans are a national institution. These passionate fans follow their teams to all corners of the fair land to show their support, including the local pub for a few bevvies after the game and a few flying fists to prove who has the best team.

Yeah, that's right...my son attended the parade a soccer hooligan...oops I mean Fan. Dads England soccer shirt, England cap, carrying the union jack (Flag) but for some reason he refused to shout"ogie, ogie, ogie, oi, oi, oi!".

I thought he shone like a bright star amongst the Sari's, Tunics, Flamenco dresses. and turbans A true Brit to be proud of!

Birthdays

It was Firstborns birthday. My little girl turned 11! Not so little anymore, 2 inches away from being the same height as me, wearing the same size shoe as me (and stealing my shoes!) and with an attitude any 17 year old would be proud of!

The dilemma was what to do to recognise the day? We said that once she reached 10 that was the last of the "Big Birthday party". (Soulmate kept reminding me of last years sleepover and of how following I crawled into the fetal position for 3 days and would only emerge for alcohol) So I ignored him and agreed I would take her and 4 friends to the local beauty school for makeovers. hair up-do, make-up and nails followed by a "Fancy" lunch at a restaurant with real table cloths!

The day started off good, all the girls were getting along, singing in the car and being...well...girls! Then the divaness set it, tantrums flew from 1 girl as she didn't like her hair, another is crying as make-up got in her eyes, another is exclaiming that the restaurant of our choice was not "fancy" and did she have to chose from the children's menu!

5 hours later, we arrive home, with Lily content and grateful for a great day (her words not mine) and mum collapsing on the couch with a Gin & Tonic, Quincy's Valium and in need of her very own makeover!

So please remind me this time next year, that these parties are a thing of the past ......please!

Valentines Day

February 14th, the day we all go nuts over love, we declare our love for one another and sing it from the rooftops. Soulmate and I have never shared gifts on Valentines except when we were dating, those days it was usually some sort of intimate clothing to be modeled later! Now we are just glad to have a nice meal while the kids are sleeping!

To me love is not about that date, it isn't about the bling (although that would be nice!? hint, hint) True love is when your man changes a diaper while gaging at the toxic waste such a small infant can supply, holding your hand when you go for surgery and being there when you wake up, some one you can yell at, scream at (not me of course!) and know they will always forgive you. Love is watching a man on his hands and knees cleaning up vomit from your dog or child, it is when your man chooses a night snuggled on the couch watching TV over a bar with the boys, Love is when you don't have to say or do anything and you just know...so to all those who have this kind of love, like me, count your blessings, for those who don't keep searching, don't settle because no matter what I truly believe your soulmate is waiting..... Mine was.

Finally...it's done

Great job Soulmate. We may have cried (me) we laughed (both) we yelled and screamed (Soulmate, never me) but it's done, it's fantastic and Baby loves it. His face says it all.

Why we don't assume

Here is a conversation between baby and I.....

Baby, (innocently)...Mum, what does the word Penis mean?

Me, (shocked)....Where did you hear that?

Baby.....From Bryce at school

Me (Professionally in my best nurses voice)....Well, it's the correct word for your privates

Baby...Oh

Me (Extremely disgusted with Bryce).....Why? What did that Bryce say? (ready for some retort that has me protecting my baby and doing some unmentionables to Bryce)

Baby (In a very matter of fact tone).......Bryce asked me if I knew what a penis was and I said "no" and Bryce said "neither do I!"

Update on the decorating

As you all know, soulmate is decorating baby's room like a rainforest. We had some initial hiccups while paper maching (is that even a word?)the rock wall. We cried, we laughed we hugged, we swore...a lot! but after some joint compound, spray popcorn and paint we are finally making progress.

Nice going soulmate, do you think we might be done by summer break???? I hate to tell him I want my bedroom done next just like the London underground, buskers and all!

Who said they prefer the box to the toy?...

There was once someone, somewhere that said kids always play with the the boxes more than the actual toy that came inside. I was like okayyyyyyyyyyy that's just stupid right?

Birthdays

It is that time of year again, the kids birthdays. I told firstborn that after her 10th there would be no more parties. She will be 11 this month. What to do...what to do... She would love a sleepover but I am sorry OK, I am not one of those calm dreamy mothers that float thru sleepovers like they are a Tupperware party accompanied by wine! I am just not one of those, not that there is anything wrong with that.

Sleepovers to me mean noise, backtalk from firstborn since she is soooooooooooo special during these times, messes to clean up, little girls getting bitchy and on top of that no sleep!

We have tossed a few ideas back and forth and have come up with a spa day. I originally thought of this as being to expensive as manicures here in the south are around $25. Then with some help from my friends, I came up with the great idea of taking the girls to the local beauty school. For $12 a head they get a manicure, up-do and mini makeup application! not too shabby and while there mama gets a nice spa manicure and pedicure for $18! Much better then the exorcist playing out at my house which is how I am after I don't get any sleep following the girly sleepover.

It's that or remember the Valium from Q-Tip?.............or should I save that for baby's birthday party at Chuck-e-Cheese????

Breakfast for a king or prince & princess

Due to the fact that soulmate now has a "proper" job and no longer works from home, he often does not get home until 6 or 6.30pm. When we first moved to Texas this took some getting used to. He would occasionally make dinner back in NY but now my kids cannot wait that late (or according to baby,they are starving and think they are going to die!) Due to this we usually have dinner waiting on the table to have a family meal as soon as soulmate walks in.

So it is such a treat when soulmate cooks on the weekends, We have his famous eggs, we have the sweet BBQ, we have the hot/cold, hot /cold. But this weekend we greeted a new soulmate speciality. Soulmates famous pancakes.

The kids thought it was their birthdays, chocolate chip pancakes, ice cream, whipped cream syrup, chocolate syrup. (my teeth are rotting as I type!) Did they like it?........what do you think?...........

Quincy Update

All is well, thank the Lord. Vet called blood work is normal and we will just wait and see. Hopefully it will be another 7 months before he has another one. If he does, I am armed with Valium and syringe to shoot up anally no less ( yes, for my word challenged friends, up the bum!). If no more seizures Soulmate and I could partayyyyy with the Valium...or I could just knock him out when he snores....hmmmmmmmmmmm

Gas...what is it?

Gas is one of three classical states of matter...it is the fuel we use in our vehicle it is a pharmaceutical anaesthesia....it is British for chatting...it is meaningless empty talk....it is Flatulence!

Which one am I referring to? My Soulmate just bought me Beano......

Weight gains and loss

I have struggled with my weight since reaching my late 20's. I am not overly obese, contrary to what Wii Fit claims I am, I need to loose 20 to 30 pounds to be ideal. Who doesn't?

I am a yo yo dieter. I do well lose 10 gain 5 lose more etc, etc etc.

So 16 weeks ago I joined Weight Watchers. I have done this before and with success so let's try again. This blog is not going to be about my weight watchers journey and how I regained my life back or any of that crap. I just wanted you to know that occasionally I will be posting some good recipes I have found and share some of my successes and failures.

PS. 11.8 pounds down and counting!

Decorating or is that what we call it!

Soulmate is extremely gifted in the creative art arena. He graduated from the Art Institute and is so talented it makes you vomit! Well, he has decided to take on a new project. Decorating baby's room. When I became pregnant with baby, Soulmate decorated a fabulous nursery with a farm scene. We had cows, we had sheep, we had tractors and apple trees and would have had a heck of a lot more if I didn't put my swollen ankled foot down and politely reminded him that we really do not need a bushel of fake apples, just finish the f*&^%$#!!! nursery before I go into labor!

Baby now wants to have a Jungle/Rain Forest room. So do we paint a few animals on the wall and buy a new jungle print comforter? Nooooooooo! we are creating a fake wall, with a waterfall, trees, greenery, parrots and other animals.

Today it is time for paper mache. The chicken wire is in place. First to the Internet (God bless Bill Gates) to search for paste instructions. Then to the pantry. What? we only have whole wheat flour. Are we healthy or something? No problems it is much better for you!

Tear strips of newspaper and soak in the paste, attach to chicken wire, simple right? Wrong! I hear cries of despair and many a howl coming from the bedroom (and it's not the kind I usually enjoy!). Soulmate is standing with flour paste dripping from his hands, with wet soggy newspaper slowly sliding down the chicken wire. There is nothing like the look of despair on a man who is dripping paper mache paste from his hands accompanied by asucking noise as the wet newspaper hits the tarp covering the carpet with a slow "Slurp"Back to Google and I will keep you posted!

Gfted and Talented

I have been asked by baby's first grade teacher to have him tested as a gifted learner. First thoughts?..how proud I am of him, must get this gift from my side of the family and wow, that little sh*#t is gifted????.

No, Joking aside, we are very proud of baby. I was provided with a list of characteristics of a gifted learner compared to a bright learner. Boy, that is an eye opener! Apart from the obvious gifted learners have Strong feelings and emotions, check!...is intense, check!..manipulates information, check!....has wild and silly ides, check! check! check!. We shall see what the tests reveal but either way, good job baby! and now come here and help me fill out this parent information form that allows you to be tested!

Things I love....

There are many things as my days go by that make me stop and take a minute to breathe, sigh and smile. These moments nourish the soul and give us the strength and motivation to carry on. It can be the sound of your child laughing, it could be the smell of freshly cut lawn, it could be a Bright yellow sunflower bobbing it's head in a warm summer breeze. You know those moments, we all feel those moments. Right?

I just had one of those. baby is in the game room playing with Hotwheels, Firstborn is watching her personal DVD, Q is fast asleep. Soulmate and I made a sneaky tiptoe to the bedroom, flopped down on the bed and shared 15 minutes of pure Peace and bliss, wrapped in each other's arms, my head on his chest.........sigh.

A New Year, A New Commitment.........maybe

OK, yes it has been approximately 4 months since my last entry, yes, I am a slacker, yes, I am a procrastinator, yes , I am all the above and more...now, slap on the wrists over, I am going to try to do this again. For how long? who knows but here I go......

What started me blogging again? you may ask. Well, mainly I watched the movie Julie & Julia last night . Have you seen it? in brief, it is about Julia Child and a modern day average girl, Julie who writes a blog as she attempts to complete the whole French Cooking book recipes in 1 year and decides to document her journey thru a blog. So, here I am...pathetic....maybe.. but who cares, I'm not sure anyone reads this anyway.

I could go back on the last months and having had my parents stay with us for 6 weeks, have an immense plethora of subjects and content to keep us entertained until the Apocalypse but I shall focus on the future (mum and dad are breathing a sigh of relief as I type!)

Today, I woke up grumpy. Why?...it may have been the inconsiderate bottom feeder of a neighbour that was partying in his backyard to 2am turning the air blue with his colorful language, it may have been the snoring soulmate laying next to me, who although I love with to the utter most core, I often think of covering with a pillow and dealing with the consequences in the morning, but I think it was thinking of my dear 'ol Q-Tip.

Those who know me, know Q is my third child. He is a 6 year old Cock-a-Poo (who soulmate when inroducing, always preface with, his more cock then poo!). Q has been with us since baby was 2 years old. He is a gentle soul with alot of puppy energy. He can drive you to the brink of madness with his incessant barking and lack of obedience but then he opens your heart when he plops his head on your lap and stares at you with those big brown eyes.
Anyway, On Saturday night Q-Tip had a seizure. Looking back this was probably his third although the others were very mild therefore I had not identified them. Q was fast asleep, when he suddenly jumped up from the floor and landed quivering in soulmates lap. We put him down on the floor and he started stumbling sideways, bumping into the furniture. We carried him into the kitchen where he promptly fell to the floor, cracking his white fluffy jaw on the tile, and then proceeded to go into a full blown seizure. Sad....yes, scary..extremely. I had soulmate getting redder and redder in the face thinking we were going to lose him, baby was crying and thank the lord that firstborn was at a Mavericks game because then we would have had to deal with the drama of a screaming tempest. Being a nurse, I , of course, was the cool and collected one, stroking Q-tip until he was done and holding his head while he vomited. (Soulmate claened that one up, bless him!)

Needless to say, Q-Tip came out of this and is fine today. Tomorrow we will take him to the vets and hopefully with the right meds he will not have to suffer like that again. Of course, being a nurse there are a hundred other causes for the seizure that my mind wanders to but seizure disorders are treatable...and we must stay positive....right?