Anger update...

I am proud of myself. I have made an effort and it is paying off. Since my initial post on my anger issues many situations have presented themselves, as they do, and I have took the higher road. I have controlled myself, took time to react and not yell first. This has resulted in not only a calmer household but a more relaxed me. Who'd have thunk it! My road op recovery will be a long and bumpy one, but one that I am traveling sure footed.

Poor baby

We were all having a great time in the backyard, sunning ourselves and swimming. Baby was on one of his usual bug hunts, checking under bushes with his little net and container. When all of a sudden I heard screams, crying and turned to see baby screeching at the top of his lungs. Poor baby had sat on a Fire Ants nest. Now being a Brit from NY this is new to me but Fire Ants are a stinging kind of ant that like to swarm.

I yelled for baby to jump into the pool and as I took of his swim shorts off there must have been 40 or 50 of those little buggers crawling all over him. Little welts developed all over his bum, upper thighs and stomach.

I rushed to the Web and found how to treat them (ice, Aloe Gel, Benadryl, just in case). Thankfully baby has no long term effects except that he initially wanted to return to NY until we told him he would have never met Ash (frog) in NY and then he realised he does still like Texas and went back to looking for Gecko's!

One of them.......

It has happened, I have become one of them.......I took baby to school in my PJ's today! Don't ask, why, how or WTF Sara, just know I did and it will never happen again. Let's move on...

ID theft

well, yes, it has happened to me. I have become a victim of identity theft. You read about it all the time, you take safety precautions and believe it will never happen to you, but it has and it will.

I received a call from Target regarding some unusual activity on my Target card. Well, there was charge for $114. 15 to something that no one has any idea what it is. A fraudulent claim has been filed, card cancelled and new one being issued but I'll be damned I am a victim.

How do I feel? Violated?, Nervous?, Anxious? none of those I am PISSED off! What has become to the integrity of the people of our fair country. I know it's only $114 and won't bankrupt me, but WTF, get your own damn credit, get your own job, stop leeching of me and every other law abiding citizen who works hard in this country not waiting for a handout. What happened to integrity and Honor? I would like to believe that they are words that still have some meaning in the world today.

Will this stop me from using credit cards? no, Will this stop me from Internet shopping? no, Will this make me change all passwords and user name? you betcha.

Finally....a kudos for Target for picking up on this so quickly, another reason to shop there!

My baby

It's official, Firstborn is all grown up. My little girl went off to camp today. She had her overloaded backpack, her sleeping bag and a grin from ear to ear. She was so excited. It is a camp thru the school and she will be gone 2 nights and 3 days. Did I feel teary eyed? maybe a little, but I think more then anything my heart was overflowing with pride. Once again, this child has proven to me her resilience , her strength and her readiness to grasp onto new experiences with a zest that is envious. What a child!

Now I am thru with the soppy stuff, Two nights, three days, no firstborn, no sibling squabbles with baby, no rolling of the eyes, no hands on the hips, Whooo Parrrrrtaaaay!

Anger

I will be the first to admit one of my biggest faults is I can be very quick tempered. I can anger easily and try extremely hard not to do so but succumb way to often. I hate it when I yell at my kids, or soulmate for something I should try to work out. I thank the lord everyday that soulmate is the calming force in my life because if he was anything like me, our house would be a tornado.

When such an incident occurs I hate the feelings I have after wards and do not want to feel like that anymore.

So I have made a vow to myself that I am conscientiously making more of an effort to hold my anger and take steps not to speak until the hot feeling has dissipated. and I am able to speak more controlled. To help me with this I am going to be honest with my posts and document incidences good and bad to make me more accountable.

I was reading a quote recently by an American Writer Ambrose Peirce and found this to be very pertinent so I though I would share.

"Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret"

So wish me luck, my self improvement begins!

How many.....

How many family members, in my household, does it take to change a toilet roll?......................

One, apparently just me!

Book fair

I went to babys book fair at school to help out. My job was to help the kindergartners write their wish lists so they can go home to beg their parents for the money to buy the books. How cute are they and how their personalities shine through.

One quiet little girl with hair perfectly braided, with matching outfit, was writing her own list in her perfect handwriting, requesting assistance with a word here and there. All her books were TV shows, Suite life of Zack and Cody, Hannah Montana and Wizards of Waverly Place. I asked her which show was her favorite and she quietly replied "Wizards". She then added "I wish I was a Wizard" so I replied you do? what would would you wish for? And she smiled" I would wish to be a princess or a Queen, so I can have everything pink" now this might sound crazy but that made me smile ear to ear with warmth and memories.

I remember the days when Firstborn wanted everything pink, wanted to be a princess and thought her mum was the Queen of all the land! Now, she just told me she wants to shop at Aeropostale (Could luck with that one, by the way), loves black and goth style (but not creepy Goth just cool Goth to be cool with skirts and keds but also to have girly days too) and now tells her mother not to help her with her math homework because "we all know your no good at math" and rolls her eyes when I try to help because what could her mum possibly know. Ahhhhhhhhh... where did the days go of castles and dragons go?

Oh well, I still have baby right? ...Right?.....baby?.......baby? "I'm playing the Wii mum, and is dad home because he is the only one that can help me this, oh and by the way mum, video games don't ruin your brain!"

Quincy?................Quincy?...................

In Memory of our dear friend Billy

"THE FINAL INSPECTION


The Army Soldier stood and faced God,
Which must always come to pass.
He hoped his shoes were shining,
Just as brightly as his brass.
'Step forward now, Soldier,
How shall I deal with you?
Have you always turned the other cheek?
To My Church have you been true?'

The soldier squared his shoulders and said,
'No, Lord, I guess I ain't.
Because those of us who carry guns,
Can't always be a saint.

I've had to work most Sundays,
And at times my talk was tough.
And sometimes I've been violent,
Because the world is awfully rough.
But, I never took a penny,
That wasn't mine to keep....
Though I worked a lot of overtime,
When the bills got just too steep.

And I never passed a cry for help,
Though at times I shook with fear.
And sometimes, God, forgive me,
I've wept unmanly tears.
I know I don't deserve a place,
Among the people here.
They never wanted me around,
Except to calm their fears.
If you've a place for me here, Lord,
It needn't be so grand.
I never expected or had too much,
But if you don't, I'll understand.
There was a silence all around the throne,
Where the saints had often trod.
As the Soldier waited quietly,
For the judgment of his God.
'Step forward now, you Soldier,
You've borne your burdens well.
Walk peacefully on Heaven's streets,
You've done your time in Hell.'

~Author Unknown~"

Changes

Since we have now been in Texas for over 4 months I really feel we have settled in and this is home. I still miss my NY friends and family of course but home is where my family is so here we are! The weather is still pleasant though we had a spat of rain for 4 days. I say that lightly as it down poured consistently for 4 days! but other then that the weather is amazing, even with the rain it was a "cool" 78 degrees. The kids have settled in school really well, baby is moving in leaps and bounds with his reading and speech is improving as well. Firstborn has made some nice Friends from good families. The schools here have a wonderful computerized system much to Firstborns disdain. I can log on to the schools portal and observe any of Firstborns work. I also receive emails if there is a failing grade or an assignment not handed in on time. It is a great interactive system and help us as parents to become hands on with our kids education. I can not even compare it to our last historic adventures in the NY school system.

Anyway, since I now exclusively work from home I figure I can change things about myself since I do not meet anyone on a professional basis, (maybe I should say experiment??). The first thing I go for is my hair. Now, I am not a shrinking violet, I know it is very hard to tell, but I will admit I have always been a bit of an attention grabber and my hair has been many hues for that reason. I am a natural, alright I admit, don't know my natural color, it has been so long , maybe I'm gray but I doubt it, I have been all colors of the spectrum most recently black which everyone seemed to approve. So here I am standing in the aisle at Walmart, staring like a kid in a candy sore, at all the hair colors. Hmmmmmmmmm? Shall I do fuchsia highlights with the black, shall I go back to blond? or chestnut, it is fall? decisions, decisions, wait... what is this?...a system to deprive your hair of all color so you can start with a fresh canvas..... throw that in the basket, ...ohhhhhhhhh I like this, mahogany red with Cinnamon highlights, OK that's the one.

Come home, use the hair stripping system, leave on 25 minutes, while waiting do some work, oh crap it has been 35 minutes, oh well, will only make it better right???. Wash that off, now the mahogany all over color, more work another 25 minutes, wash that of.... now for the Cinnamon highlights, a little here, a little there, wait another 20 minutes or so, dog needs to go out, oh boy another 30 minutes, wash that off and voila........a multicolored head of red, rich brown, orange?, yellow?, a left over black mmmmmmmmmm.

Family comes home actually like this new rainbow do so will keep it for a while...... maybe

Photographic Evidence