Bugs, Flu and other germs

It all started on Monday, Soulmate woke up and went for a bike ride. We have both been making attempts at a more fit and active lifestyle and this is his part. (Does much better then me, I might add!) Anyway, he returned and said he wasn't feeling too well. Soulmate felt nauseous and had heartburn. Being the caring, loving nurse I am, I told him to suck it up and get over it!

Anyway, off to work he went, the trooper he is or off he went to escape for the kids and me since there is no camp this week, hmmm, you make the call.

I received a call from Soulmate, once he got to work, who then proceeded to describe the violent, explosive diarrhea he had just experienced. The description included color, sounds and even texture. Sometimes it stinks (no pun intended) to be nurse!

By 4.00pm, soulmate was on his way home, an early retreat from work, due to his current bowel issues. I personally think the office got rid of him because it was one the girls turns to clean the bathrooms! By this time, I was feeling achy and experiencing stomach cramps.

I took myself off to bed where soulmate came and joined me within a few minutes. The kids proceed to take care of us, which they thought was hysterical, by bringing us drinks, flowers (picked from my garden), books, magazines and anything else we might need.

We made it thru the night and got the kids to bed. Fell asleep around 10.00pm only to be woken up by baby crying in the bathroom with stomach ache and yes, the same issues as Soulmate.Then we were off........

Baby continued to vomit and sh*t every 30 minutes until 9.30am. This poor kid did not stand a chance. He did not know whether to sit down or stand in the bathroom. Well, I don't want to get to graphic (actually I do but I guess I shall spare you) at one point he was naked bent over praying to the porcelain God, retching, when a brown soup came shooting out of his lower half with the force of any rocket NASA would be proud to name theirs, hitting the lime (I didn't paint them) green wall of our bathroom! It sprayed out in a very artistic fan patter in a semi circle across the wall dripping down to the molding and floor.

Now, need I remind you that I was not feeling too hot myself, so on my hand and knees, with help from soulmate, I was spraying bleach and scrubbing at gravy stains to the dulcet tones of baby vomiting, Soulmate tooting and my own retching!...

Thank God it only lasted 12 hours and Firstborn did not get sick. See even germs are scared of her!

Curly Q

Firstborn has been pestering me for a perm. She does not want the old type perm that I used to get that smelled like rotten eggs but a spiral perm. Now once upon a time I was the Queen of spiral perms but I was close to 14 years old. Firstborn is only 11. She has great hair and I just do not want her to ruin it. We have spent time with the curling iron, hot brush and rollers but it was never quite the same.

Within the dark dusty cobwebbed recess of my mind, I remember rag curling. My nana used to do this to my mums hair back in the dark ages. So thanks to Google and you tube I was able to find instructions on rag curling.

I diligently cut strips of rags and curled pieces of hair around the rag and Voila! Sent Firstborn to bed with the head of Medusa.

Next day unrolled the rags and this is the result.........

What do you think?......

A Lindsey Lohan in the family...

Took our dog Q-Tip to the vets for some shots and check up because of the recent seizure diagnosis. My fluffy friend does not usually worry about the vet, but for some reason this time he seemed a little amped up. Kinda like Soulmate in Tortola before the naked fishing exhibition (See Tortola blog post).

We arrive at the vets and we are waiting for about 20 minutes as they had an emergency visit prior to our arrival. We then get called back into a room and answer the usual questions from the vet tech. This tech proceeds to take Q out into the back to receive his injections and to have blood drawn. I am sitting in this room minding my own business and wondering how many animals have peed on the chair I am sitting on, when chaos ensues.

I hear a yelp, a cry and then a very loud "NO!". Holy Sh*T! I know it's mine. it has to be.... have you read my blog? Next a Tech comes in and tells me everything is OK and the vet will be in shortly.

The vet arrives to tell me that the tech performed all the vaccinations with no issues and Q-Tip was quiet and behaving very well, so without the usual assistance the tech goes to draw blood from my Q and he turns around and bites her. The vet states that there was no aggression or growling but the Tech probably startled him. This vet was extremely apologetic as she thinks it was more the techs fault and not Q's but still in future they will put one of those delightful Elizabethan collars on him just to be safe (You know those collars, the ones that prevent the animal from licking anything that might be the slight bit of fun)

OK, then this is not so bad right?, Q-Tip reacted normally to a needle being stuck in his leg, no big deal. It's all over and no need to worry. (Having dealt with an extremely aggressive pet in the past this sort of stuff gets me so worked up)

The next day I receive a phone call. "Hi this is Officer Rodriguez" My mind is now racing faster then a turkey on thanksgiving, what did I do recently?, (too much to count) What did Soulmate do?(Tortola) hell, what did my Family do!!!

"May I speak with the owner of Q-Tip"

First thought deny any such animal exists but " this is her" involuntarily came out of my mouth.

Officer Rodriguez (animal control officer) states that a dog bite was reported and that it is their policy to quarantine any animal that has bitten another for 10 days. Since Q is current on vaccinations he is able to be on quarantine at home but the officer needs to check out the property.

So Animal cop shows up at my house, divulges that a physician called in the bite not the vet, I explained what had happened and he agreed that if someone approached him with a needle he might bite them too! Following the house inspection, Kujo was approved for house arrest

So for 10 days he has to wear an ankle monitoring bracelet, that monitors his aggression level and alcohol intake... nah, just kidding, he has to be kept in the house and back yard with no contact with anyone outside the family for 10 days. A little inconvenient but what can you do?

Shame tho, I was just lining up a photo shoot for the AKC annual magazine, with Q laying on the couch, with his seductive skinny leg draping over the side, with his monitoring bracelet on full show!

What's wrong with people?

For the summer, we decided to let the kids have a little pool party. A nice way to reconnect with school friends and relax. Nothing fancy just the all American BBQ and a swim.

The kids were asked to pick a few friends each. Baby's list was done in 3 minutes, Firstborn took 3 days with drama and texts flying all around Dallas, possible causing Tropical Storm Alex, but we finally got the list together.

Baby takes one invite into camp for a boy he knows from school. Baby hands this snotty little devils spawn the invite and told him "I am having a pool party". The 2 horned wonder opens the invite, with not one thank you of course, and throws it down on the table.

Baby asks the all red one if he can see the invite to which this kid roars (with green pea soup spewing from his mouth) "Take it. I don't like you, don't want to be your friend or come to your stupid party!" WTF!! What sort of parenting is a child getting when he just hurts another child's feeling so bad without a single afterthought?

Obviously my first concern was for baby. I asked him how he felt and explained that if this boy could treat him like this he was not a friend or someone he should want to spend time with (tho I am yearning to get him in a dark alley. Is that wrong?) Baby replies " oh, that's OK mum, I gave his invite to a much nicer kid" Thank God for the resilience of children.

Meanwhile, mum, is still struggling with the question Why is it not legal to interrogate a child and stone his parents if you suspect he is Beelzebub and they are his creators?

I am very lucky....

Once in a while I like to give props to the man in my life. Soulmate is the best husband and friend a woman could ever want. He is kind, generous, humorous, loving, a great father and man. It would be nice if he put the toilet seat down once in a while or changed the toilet roll but hell we can't be greedy!

We had a really great July 4th weekend, we went to the Zoo, did the whole fair and fireworks thing and even had a day on July 5th without kids for a relaxing, exploring adventure. (Maybe camp isn't so bad).

This man comes home from work on Tuesday, after dinner, kids are in bed and we finally sigh relief to have time to ourselves and crack open a beer or three. Soulmate goes on to tell me what a great weekend he had and presents me with a jewelry bag. Inside is a beautiful ring of Amethyst, Topaz and other gems with a matching necklace. What a man! I love this guy!

I post these entries not only to thank him, but to share that there are these wonderful human beings out there and if you do not have one go get you some because you deserve it and are worth it. (I know I am)

Is it genetics?

My kids are the most uncoordinated creatures I have met. There, done, it's out there! Firstborn could not ride a two wheeler until she was 9! when she was toddler, the only way she could ride a tricycle was backwards. Huh?

Baby is just the same. He still has training wheels at age 7 and he is not a small petite child, he is tall and skinny and looks like a 20 year old riding a miniature cycle in a circus!

So in my infinite wisdom, or just desperation, this summer I signed the kids up for camp. They go alternative weeks to give me a break and allow me to actually get some work done for the dollars I am being paid. Camp is held at a gymnastic facility, they are horseback riding, swimming, performing gymnastics, using the zip-tie, scaling the rock wall, have archery and Tae-kwon-do lessons! wow right? What was I thinking?????

They have had two full weeks of this wonderful adventure and I have had three visits to the local pharmacy for supplies, two phone calls to the pediatrician, 1 day of missed camp and a helluva lots of stress! We have sustained a sprained ankle, strained tendon, bruised hand, black eye, bruised knee and we topped it of with one case of a stomach virus with vomiting and diarrhea that Mount Vesuvius would be proud off!

Next summer, art and music camp may be on the agenda but I would have the only kids that fall of the piano stool, sustain burns from the bow of the violin and get an allergic reaction to paint!....sigh....